Toxic People

Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about things you cannot change.

Prayer is a conversation you have with God about things He can change.

I know all the promises of the Bible and how I should not worry or have any fear. But it’s so easy to just let worry take over the mind. I’m slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything, it won’t make people suddenly love and respect me, it won’t magically change their minds. Sometimes it’s better to just let things be, let people go, don’t fight for closure, don’t ask for explanations, don’t chase answers and don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from. I’m slowly learning that life is better lived when you don’t center it on what’s happening around you and center it on what’s happening inside you instead. Work on yourself and your inner peace.

Matthew 5:44 Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

For me Matthew 5:44 is one of the hardest verses in the whole Bible for me to follow. When I have been wronged by someone the last thing I want to do is pray for them but when I finally get over myself in this situation and completely turn everything over to God there is a peace that happens. I believe that God really gets how hard it can be so when I finally obey his command he rewards me with the greatest peace that one can have.

We can all probably think of at least one toxic person we have in our lives. We let the person use us as an emotional punching bag over and over again. We love to hard and forgive quickly but our big hearts won’t let us forget. We go to God in prayer with tears streaming down our faces because we want so much for that person to understand out hearts but for whatever reason they just can’t. So we finally get to the point where it’s time for us to let them go. Even to the bitter end we fight it thinking….if we could just forgive one more time. But finally God closes that door. He forces the situation to finally change and with that the toxic person is gone. For me in that moment I feel a little lost at first. Deep hurt fills the hole they left. But I kneel, I kneel before God and I have no more words but it’s okay. I feel God lovingly hugging me and I feel a real understanding of why the door had to be shut once and for all.

There is a lesson in all of it. I loved the unloveable, I forgave, I prayed, I did my part but the relationship became to toxic so God said “enough” and closed the door. I have an extra scar on my heart but I raise my hands in praise.

My God is a mighty God and bigger than it all. I loved, I lived and I thank God!